#that's my main like 'plan' for today
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good morning!! <3
#woo now i get to work on the hsr events#and if i wanna i can finish up exploration now that the quest's over#the quest roped so many areas off which was silly - i just wanted the chests in the various dead ends lol#but anyways#that's my main like 'plan' for today#other than that i'll probably like try to write a little or smth#still trying to come up with a tag for raf - maybe i need to read his anecdotes again for ideas#i'm very picky when it comes to the tags i give f/os so this is just usual for me lol#anyways#i hope today/tonight is kind to you <33#morning rambles
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arguably west/south has the best aesthetic outfit wise tbh
Adonis/Florin - @/NovumSidus
#extra doodle from my batch today#||lost kin doodles#||friend chars#//sodalite#//the soldier#non main tagged considering its just oc/friend ocs in outfit#ask still in my box . i have plans to answer it but some of these make me Think and i havent been able to think#for like the entirw week so . yea
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being sick is just having to find new ways not to lose your mind while lying in bed for the entire day and then you do it again
#I'm sick of being sick#was hoping I'd be fit enough again to go to uni tomorrow but honestly??#the way I woke up today it's not looking like it and ALSO I wasn't able to do prep for a siiiingle course all weekend so it's like. wouldn't#even make sense for me to show up#which :') tuesday is my fullest day so I'm missing out on all but one of my courses this week lolololol that is. I hate this#esp because with some things I have planned this semester I was gonna have to miss a week anyways and :') I'm losing my mind#simon.out.#just another day of me complaining on main what's new
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#robin processes emotions on main#brother invited his stupid (objectively fine very normal and probably lovable to someone) friend over for Sunday afternoon again#I need a break from people looking at me!!!! no more of this!!!! planning to skulk in my room like a horrible brat#because I'm an adult and have free will and can do that#I should probably eat lunch though. sigh.#I hate feeling like people are watching me I hate ittttt#no good ending to this post I'm just a horrible paranoid little creature today. may the stranger leave as soon as possible
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Sketching something for Halloween and while halfway through I realized that the concept I’m drawing would’ve worked better for another f/o, but the one I’m drew so far looks good.

#idk what to do 😭#the sketch looks nice so far#like I’m planning on drawing three things for Halloween for my main f/os but ughhh#and sorry for not being very active today I wasn’t feeling very well and was resting all day#💬 chy chatter 💬
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TOMORROW.
#gang i locked in so hard yesterday/today#its probably gonna take my longer to write the yap than to finish the last few frames#theres so much to digest#and im so excited#SO PROUD??#i planned this project a month ago#took a break#AND LIKE ACTUALLY CAME BACK TO IT????#so impressive#anywho tommorow enjoy my decent into madness#i havnt decided if I wanna post the work in progress behind the scene things#to this blog or my main art one#THATS TOMMOROWS PROBLEM#Oh yeah and the milk amv still exists#JUST HAVE FAITH IN ME GANG#WHAT I HAVE IM SO HAPPY WITH#I HOPE I COME BACK TO IT#but if I dont uh#well#uh#ill wait a while cause clearly not posting this after I took a break was the best choice ever#i love when my brain buzzes and never stops buzzing and just wont stop buzzing
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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Going to gym classes regularly will introduce you to covers of songs you did not think possible (today: whisper-singing indie covers of the entire Grease soundtrack).
#it’s funny too because they just play the radio in the main part of the gym#but the licensing fees are hectic for real songs#so I was talking to one of my instructors a few months ago about it and she was telling me they all use this app#which they can search the covers by beat/tempo for the exercises they’re planning#which makes it extra funny to me that my instructor today was like#no#indie covers of a 70s musical while we exclusively do butt work
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Princess Monoke reference anyone?
But fr just a silly (non-canon) doodle of Dust and Reaper's first encounter in Ec-4o.verse <3
#utmv sans#my art#spot!drawn#ec-4o.verse#it's so funny to me that they meet really early in the timeline#because like???#Reaper technically saves Dust's life and sets him on the path to finding the base that the main story is set in#back then they only knew eachother for two days and Reaper was off again. they had no idea how important their meeting was#not only for the plot of the story but for eachother too lmao#but yeah. Dust never actually manages to fire a shot at Reaper (thank god) but this doodle was too good to pass up#might refine it later lol#ec-4o!reaper#ec-4o!dust#this was extremely low-effort#I'm so tired today#hehe#oh and#dustedafterdeath#technically it's implied and only 2-of-3 are present but uhhhh#I could it because this was step one of the master plan >:)#count*
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This year's new year's resolution is going to be Be Kinder To People: Take 2, with the more specific stipulation that this year I'm going to work on letting minor annoyances in public (aka asshole drivers on the highway or rude customers at work) roll off me instead of choosing violence (aka deliberately being a bigger asshole to the other driver or making faces at customers with my back to the camera)
#radio chatter#i have a bad habit of starting arguments in my head to the point that soon enough i realize that I'm like#making up shit to get mad at that's way worse than what the person actually did#and then i act like a dick#i don't like it and I'm trying to practice looking at people more kindly when they do things that bother me#and remember that I'm not the main character in their life and they didn't plan to piss me off today#and in fact probably have an entire list of motives behind their behavior that i can't see and would find understandable if i could#i hate being mad at strangers all the time it makes me feel like a tarpit like the only observation i ever make about the world is#'[pointing at someone i barely know] i hate that motherfucker'
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hope you guys are ready for the final "official" part of "of false faiths" to drop tomorrow! because I sure as fuck am not
#screw thoughts#spicaverse royalty au#hello what the fuck#finished writing it today and now im staring at my screen like what the fuck am i meant do now#i mean obviously this isn't the end of the au#there's too many loose threads#but the main ''story'' that I'd been planning from the beginning is just........ done. over. there's nothing left of that.#it's mostly just going to be shenanigans in the woods now#and maybe some brief flashes to the kingdoms to check in on how they're doing (bad. bad. but still better than Before)
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i always forget how short marky is compared to everyone else.....
#what makes it funnier is dhes is not even that tall. literally only 5'7#5'8 on a good day#today i'm working on zip tie's death scene (hence...... marky)#then i have a roadkill scene to do & a red scene#& that might be it#i may........ do one more after that but i've already made 6 scenes so the edit is getting pretty long#i wanted to do more stuff with the side characters but i realized that most of their arcs are only loosely planned#& i don't want to make anything & then change my mind about it later#so i decided to only make scenes that are totally 100% set in stone in the story#i also wanted to try to include some lore about the actual apocalypse & how it started but i just don't know if i can make it fit#i'll probably need to do more than one of these types of edits tbh#which is fine actually bc these are kind of fun#this post is probably just gonna be about the main 7 plus cricket#cricket is like... the honorary 8th main character to me#my lil sad guy#rainyrambles
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okay to those of you who saw my last rb and care about my stupid guilty gear au. i NEED to rant right now. Massive long winded about bedkari (aka bedman x hikari, my stupid ship that’s part of reverie of rebirth) under the cut. Be warned they’re so toxic yuri
i just realized. The cornered pray analogy exactly how the dynamic between Romeo and Hikari is. The lamb preparing for their slaughter specifically is. Exactly them. But the thing is… The roles are swapped in a way.
Romeo, of course, has sheep elements. Those are a huge part of his design- Even in his canon story as well. He’s a lamb being led by a shepherd. He’s naively being led along by Ariels, she calms him when he rebels or lashes out against her, and she led him all the way to his eventual slaughter. He’s the lamb.
But with Hikari, he gets to be the shepherd.
Hikari is a yokai. She’s powerful. I wrote her to be powerful on purpose. She could be fatally wounded and survive, not even batting an eye due to her lack of pain receptors. Which she does. Right when she first meets Romeo. He tries to kill her, and yet she’s unfazed. She doesn’t care. She didn’t feel anything, and she knows she wants to be near him no matter what. All that’s important is pleasing him.
Basically all Hikari knows is Romeo. When she first met him and emotionally latched onto him, she had only recently awoken and still had all her emotions. All her emotions were developed around Romeo’s guidance and treatment of her, which basically just meant being his little assistant, aiding in his war crimes, and associating joy with his slightly harsh treatment.
All Hikari knows is showing her neck and stomach to Romeo.
When comparing the specific animal motifs of both Romeo and Hikari, it’s really fun to see the contrast. Hikari has the designs element of the predator animal, while Romeo has motifs of the prey. However, those roles are swapped in terms of their behavior. Romeo is abrasive and only begins to show care towards his yokai companion after months in his presence, while said companion innocently follows his commands and accepts anything he throws her way- Naively believing every word he says like it’s gospel. A little cat blindly loving the cruel shepherd. It’s a beautiful parallel that honestly was not intentional.
The sheep bares its teeth and bites into the neck of the two-tailed cat.
#cyrambles#reverie of rebirth au#oc: hikari#guilty gear oc#bedman guilty gear#<— sure i’ll tag this with his main tag. i’m feeling brave today#when you add ariels and happy chaos into this whole dynamic too it becomes even more fascinating too#it’s almost like a food chain but for people with godlike powers#hikari’s at the bottom. innocently following whatever bedman says to do#basically letting her emotions form skewed and unhealthily centered around romeo just because she loves him so much#above her is romeo. cynical and sadistic and yet still manipulated by ariels#all he wanted was safety for himself and his sister and he was unfortunately taken advantage of by the person he opened up to#above him is ariels. the universal will. the true shepherd. going along calmly until it’s finally time for the slaughter of her dear sheep#and at the very top is chaos. the horrid blue man#he controlled ariels to the highest degree. laying dormant in her until he decided he could put everything in motion#in a way. he probably planned all of this#anyways on a note that isn’t me getting philosophical about a japanese fighting game#bedkari is toxic yuri#they are. my friend and i said so (this is a heterosexual relationship)
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A lot of fandom takes that brush by me are insane to me idk what it is. But the "He's totally evil" about Kabru, like. He's just some guy with a savior complex. Who has problems. He's fine.
And by this I mean, from the get-go it was clear to me that he wasn't really a threat to the main party? He's just another guy in another party. Who very clearly has Something going on, but to me, it seemed he had good intentions and strong convictions. Again he just has a complex and problems about it. Which is fine 👍 (<- kicking my feet batting my eyes I'm soooo normal. About that and all his other tendencies and traits)
#NOT. MAINTAGGING THIS. bc big fandoms scare me. if it escapes containment#then that's the will of god. out of my hands. SAD#but like even today i saw a post about kabru's bait and switch red herring and i was inclined to agree#until op started listing things and i'm like. ????????????? okay. well. it was clear to me from the start. so.#i adore kabru though like what if you had main character syndrome and made yourself judge jury and executioner#but due to. the horrors. you struggle to achieve your lofty goals and ultimately your strongest skills lie elsewhere.#IT IS SO COOL TO ME. to see a chara who fully acknowledges their weaknesses/limitations#then sees another chara who Excells where you falter. and then goes 'you know what. change of plans. YOU'RE part of my plans now btw'#also he's just endlessly funny to me. guy who is so normal and good at that. i promise.
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#robin processes emotions on main#would it be evil to stay home from family thanksgiving because I don't think I can do all my homework if I go. would it be selfish#it probably would be selfish#I'm just feeling overwhelmed tonight because I remembered All Of The Homework due on Tuesday next week and I was planning#to do most of that homework today but there's more than I thought and I also chose to do a thanksgiving dinner and online games#with the uncle who also stayed home from family thanksgiving this year. and it was fantastic and I wouldn't trade that for the world#but it was last minute and I'm SO OVERWHELMED NOW 😭#and I just DROPPED THE PIZZA SAUCE from the pizza he bought me and it was just the last straw folks. now there's pizza sauce#on the floor and tears in my eyes and my throat hurts. and I'm aware this whole upset is selfish but STILL#still#wellllll anyway sorry#big sniff#I'm fine and everything will be fine this is just a lose/lose situation#also I'm not feeling well physically and driving four hours tomorrow for a stressful event sounds really sucky :(#four hours round trip for like six hours in person
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the 4 30 am desire to make undertale-esque themes for all of my ocs
#i totally should (I TOTALLY SHOULDNT)#bingo is the one I wanna do the most……did not do his song justice in my little collection#‘Hana don’t you think you should be like. worldbuilding or something? your world is pretty barebones—‘ YES YOU ARE VERY CORRECT#counterpoint: bingo funni#I may not know anything about the world my characters live in but if was an rpg the opening cutscene wouldGETS SHOT#actually I am planning to lore dump some of the very early worldbuilding lore via a cutscene-type thing#(by very early I mean like. pre-main plot by a couple centuries. basically why the works is so fucked up like it is)#it’s not even interesting lore but I like it just because of the dichotomy between it and the Actual Story Content#once upon a time there were four magical beings and—who let the gourd father out of his cell again#I say planning because who knows if I’ll finish it. I just love the opening sequences to rpgs they are so whimsical#a little tune playin…fun visuals…explaining The Lore in simple but mysterious terms…#ending on a cliffhanger or on an otherwise incomplete note? mmsmjidkd that’s the sound of me eating that shit up mmemjejejskwk#I was going to do my math tests today but. I can’t sleep. yaaayyy im gonna be so tired in the morning#bestie’s in his failing high school era but at least I have mediocre stories to tell to about 3 people online amiright#(don’t mean that as a bad thing to the 3 or so people you are beyond appreciated. giggling and kicking my feet)#don’t know wtf I’m talking about anymoremi should be. trying to sleep I tjinjbut I’m not
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